I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
