Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
