pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
