I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
