just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
