Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
