taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
