Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
