I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
