I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize