And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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