You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
