She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
