dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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