My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
