i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
