What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
