She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
