Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
