We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
