Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
