like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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