:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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