Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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