Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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