did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
