So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
