I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
