just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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