I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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