i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
