I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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