Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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