My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
