In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
