I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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