i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
