We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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