I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
