C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
