Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You are a genius and a whore.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
