Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
