I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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