im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize