He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
