Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
