She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
