Sry I called you an 8
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
