I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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