Nicole vs. Life
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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