Dual....:-)
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
