You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
