Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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