Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
