It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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