All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish I only lived at night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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