i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
