he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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