made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
