your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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